Unthinkable
by Klioud
Summary: Post-Hideout Raid Arc. Tenya Iida is glad for the school dormitories.


To Tenya Iida, the school dormitories are a blessing.

He had initially been reluctant to leave his family home behind for the remainder of the school term. Tenya had known that moving into the dormitories would disrupt more than just his routine. Until now, he had enjoyed spending the first hour and a half of his morning in the company of his parents. Tenya had liked to see his father elbow-to-elbow with his private cooking instructor on Thursday mornings. His father tended to add too many dashes of this and that to their morning meals. It was only ever the wideness of his father's smile that made anything he cooked edible. Tenya had admired how his mother always had something insightful, or at least thought-provoking, to say when they discussed the latest news or research articles over breakfast. But moving into the dormitories meant that he could no longer kiss her cheek before he left for school.

It also meant that he would no longer run the same route to the UA campus. Tenya had liked the quietness of the streets at that hour. It was a time conducive to thought-collecting. He would form lists. Or review his mental notes. He would polish his memories in whatever light that hour afforded him. On those occasions when his heart raced twice as quickly, Tenya would remind himself that _heroes have to bear the weight of that._ This did not always happen. Usually, it was during the evenings that his heartbeat had a habit of going double-time.

He could pinpoint the exact moment that this would start: just three seconds after he had seen Uraraka to the subway terminal and Midoriya to his bus stop. Tenya could arrive at home. Take off his shoes. He could shower and change into presentable clothing for dinner. But not even the warm water or the soft material of his casual attire would slow his heart. Only the sight of two text messages that said _Home!_ could. In the past, they would send him longer messages. Like _I made it home safely._ Or _I'm home now!_ But he only needed a word from the two of them to settle his heart.

Now, his routine has changed. Tenya still wakes up at that same early hour each morning. But he starts his day by sending his mother, father, and his older brother text messages wishing each of them a good day. At this hour, the dormitory kitchen is almost as quiet as his old route had been. The only other early-risers seem to be Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, Ojiro, and Asui. The latter helps him as he cooks his breakfast of eggs. She teaches him how much salt to add to them. Teaches him what oils can be heated at what temperatures. Asui teaches him that scrambled eggs do not require any amount of flour in order to be fluffy.

Then he eats at the long table with whomever else is present. He wants to bring up the subject of whatever news or research article he has read recently. But the words seem to stick to the walls of his stomach. So he eats in relative silence.

Right after breakfast, Tenya goes for a run. His new route is a circle around their dormitory building. It takes less than a minute for him to complete one circuit. After a half hour, he does not know how many times he has circled it. He only knows that his heartbeat has an echo he cannot outrun.

 _Heroes have to bear the weight of that._

It is only an echo, at least. He no longer walks Midoriya or Uraraka to their respective stops. And they no longer send him those one-word texts messages. But at night, he does not retire to his bedroom until he has seen the both of them return to the dormitory building. He has developed a new evening habit: he dusts off the bookshelves and wipes down the surface of the coffee table in the common room. Sometimes he fluffs the pillows on the sofas and few armchairs. They usually return by then.

But sometimes that echo is a little too loud in his rib cage. And one word from the two of them is not enough to settle it. So he brings his arithmetic and English language textbooks down to the foyer where he reads them with one eye. His other stays trained on the entrance. He forms a list of who comes through those doors. Reviews in his mind the names and faces of all his other classmates.

Every one of them is quite capable. He knows that. Midoriya and Uraraka more than most. This _thing_ he has developed should be rather insulting to them. Just as insulting as it should have been that he had ever asked them to send him those text messages. Back then, Tenya had phrased it as a matter of courtesy and not as a _need_. Only it had been a need then. Just as it is now.

They should have been offended that he might think them incompetent when it came to their own protection. That he might believe them to be indolent or foolish enough to drop their guards when it matters most. All that should be unthinkable.

But Tenya has seen the unthinkable with his own eyes. It lay in a hospital bed wreathed by machinery and cold sunlight.

The others have seen the unthinkable too. Tenya thinks of Midoriya: a hand around his throat threatening to disintegrate him in a second. Thinks of Uraraka: her childhood hero torn asunder by their own power. He thinks of Bakugou: alone among unfriendly faces offering a twisted form of friendship.

He thinks of All Might: his legend far greater than what remains of him now.

Tenya polishes his memories of the USJ and the summer training camp. It makes the echo inside his rib cage more distinct. He can just barely make out what it says. It sounds something like _heroes have to bear the weight of that._

So he thinks he understands why his classmates are not offended when they are greeted by the sight of him in the foyer. It must be part of the reason why Ashido hovers by the television in the common area until late. Why Kaminari is nearly always willing to fix a midnight snack with whomever is feeling peckish. It is why Yaoyorozu demands that her tutees tell her beforehand if they are not attending her weekly group study session.

This is why the school dormitories are a blessing: they have all seen the unthinkable.


End file.
